Letters to a KNOWN audience

Saturday, November 13, 2004

The RAT

is dead. I think. Probably froze to death up there and we won't be smellin it til spring when it thaws out and decomposes into a gooey mess.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

The Rat

This is a true story. Do not read into this in any way, especially into your own life....

It has been almost 2 months since I moved into my brooklyn apt. A few days after moving in, baby roaches appeared and welcomed me to New York. I immediatley set out poisons all over the apartment and sprayed each one I found with a 1/2 and 1/2 solution of bleach and water. So far so good.

Right after the roach problem started to come under control, something died between my wall and my neighbor's wall in the kitchen. It smelled really bad, but that was a few weeks ago and that thing either dried up and doesn't smell anymore or I am so used to the stench that I can'[t tell it's there.

2 weeks ago, a rat moved into the space between my tin ceiling and my upstairs neighbor's floor. It scurries around at night and there is only one but because I have tin ceilings, it sounds like a big stampede circling around overhead. Since I have not been blessed with gifts from this rat, I assume it must be eating out at my upstairs neighbor's apartment.

Last Saturday, the upstairs neighbors moved out, and they have been banging and clanging upstairs, getting the place ready for the new tenants. The rat, probably now trapped with nowhere to go, has taken to claw and screech it's way around my ceiling, and on sunday, made it's way down my wall near where my bed is. No sleep sunday night as I imagined the terror or this poor creature desparetly trying to find food and water, and eventually perhaps breaking through the wall and taking a bite out of me when it did.

Last night was quiet. Either the thing found a way out, or it died and will smell up the apartment again.

The end.